i can't think of the moment
when i was first lonely
it could have been
when i was born
after being so comfortable
being a part of someone else
i wonder if it felt cold
and dry
i feel more alone in winter
than in summer
a stomach is only moist and big enough
for someone to grow
for nine months



not finished....

she said
you fall so easily
i think really
i just dangle
along side a cliff
waiting to be untangled
by a big enough wave
whose hair smells like salt
on my hands
whose hands look like sun
on my stomach
whose mouth feels like water
on my neck
if it was the ocean i could fall into
let it engulf me

A train stands for the Angry man riding it across from me tonight

i can not apologize
for anyone's skin

if i had the power
to create skin
i would have made your eye lids thicker
and heavier than train tracks
so you wouldn't have to scream
when people like me sit across from you
tired enough not to move away
when i'm called a dirty white bitch
at least seven times
on my way home

if i had the power
to create skin
i would make your eye lids
two full moons
so i wouldn't have the urge
to glimpse under them
into whites stained red from liquor
or from fire
i don't know when it started
but i hope some day
it sizzles out

my day at work

the truth is
i'm having trouble faking it today
you'll have to forgive me
the water pouring into the glass of ice
seems more real than it's ever been
i don't want to insult it
by faking a smile
when i serve it to you

his knees

His knees are only knees
but the heat of them against my palms buckles me
i never knew
knees could be so hot
i pray for him to move them away
but he only bends them more
bending the small table under him
shattering our threads of skin
separated by blue jeans
he whispers at me
something about my face
i can't really comprehend
my face will come later
this is about his knees

taking the good

teach me the answers you held in your neck
the time i kissed you there
hoping to leave on you my own words
i couldn't say
not knowing there were things beneath you
i wouldn't dare to try and suck out
i can hear you confess truths and lies
whenever i feel like

that's the risk you take
when you sing so loud it sounds
like your chest sinks to your feet
careful when you dance
remember to breathe
open your mouth wide
or close your lips and hum
tell me it feels good
to hold things in your neck
it's an answer in itself
i love to learn you

smell of footprints

I carry your scent for days
I think it’s part of my skin
I press my thigh to my face
Clothes my eyes
And breathe in
The sudden lack of the kitchen light
Brings your face to my sight
The repeating beats of this music near my ears
Are re-set into these speakers by your solid voice
Speaking sentences resembling the pattern of my convicting rib cage
That I’m sure you will dig your feet into for hundreds of decades
After the sun loses it’s footing
You will be standing there
De-breathing me in your wake
With questions your eyes ask
Forever being free to jump into every planet in the universe
And leave your marks on all of them
If you leave my chest
Your small foot prints will remain
Strong enough to hold their place
For when you find your way back.